Writing It Out
by LilyGhost
Summary: Needing a break from the Burg, Stephanie decides to clear up a few things for Ranger before taking off. A Ranger POV story.


**All familiar characters are Janet's. The mistakes are solely mine.**

"Ahh, Boss?" Woody asked, when I ordered whoever knocked on my office door to enter.

"What is it?"

This past week there has always been something going on or going wrong. A break-in response team needed every hour, an outbreak of the flu among the men, Ella leaving for a few days to see the baby girl her niece just had, which left us with a male replacement who can't do half of what she does in double the time. My own hours have gone from the typical 5 AM to 5 PM ... to 5 AM to 5 _AM_ for the last three days. If I don't get a break soon, I'm going to break.

I know that ninety-five-percent of my current mood is due to not being able to see or speak to Stephanie for longer than five minutes at a time. My cell always intrudes with something new I have to check on or take care of. In fact, I'd just picked up the phone for yet another attempt to call My Babe when Woody knocked. I need to hear her voice or see her face to calm my mind, and having that brief relief denied had my tone showing my irritation at the interruption.

"Ummm, Steph just came in ..."

"She's here?" I asked.

My mood improved dramatically hearing that.

"Not anymore. She said she was just dropping this off for you," he told me, handing me a business size envelope that looks like it once held one of her bills.

I don't like the feel of this. Woody's nervousness in speaking had my earlier breaking point closer at hand.

"Ummm, Sir ...?"

His overall unease got my instincts reacting. "Was she hurt?"

"Not anywhere I could see, but when I walked her back out to her car, I could see some bags packed in the backseat. You didn't give anyone orders to watch her outside of Trenton, so I got concerned and came straight here."

Fuck. I didn't order a different security detail for her because I wasn't aware she had plans to go anywhere beyond her usual spots ... her apartment, the bonds office, Tasty Pastry ...

"You didn't stop her?" I asked him, not at all pleasant in my questioning.

"I thought you'd kick my ass if I restrained her. I _did_ tell her to wait so I could call you since you're in the building for the first time in days, but she said she knows you're busy and to just make sure you got that."

"Was her rat in the car?" I asked.

"No. No Rex."

That's reassuring. She only takes the rodent with her when she sees an extended stay in her future. The only time I'm excited to see the furball is when he's in my kitchen on seven. His presence meant Stephanie will be living with me for awhile.

"Check her trackers and give me a current location," I ordered Woody.

"Yes, Sir."

I waited for him to close the door after exiting my office before I sat back down behind my desk and kept one eye on my monitor to see when and where her dot would appear. I then opened the envelope Steph gave me, quick to discover that I wouldn't need high-tech help to locate her. My gut started churning when I saw her handwriting. She finds typing a quick text too time-consuming most days, so her writing an actual letter had me nervous to read it. I've never spared myself when it comes to her so I fought the fear and unfolded the ragged-edged piece of notebook paper.

' _Ranger_ ,' her letter began, ' _I know things have been crazy for you this past week, but I miss seeing you. My life's been crazy, too, and I really could've used the calm you always bring to me wherever we are. I know I can call you anytime and you'll talk me down or turn me on in whatever time you_ _ **do**_ _have, but for some stupid reason it seems easier to tell you the important stuff this way. I enjoyed our dinner out the other night, but I should've known not to go out in public with you, not because I don't want to be seen with you, that can't be further from the truth. I want to be seen with you, a lot ..._ _ **everywhere**_ _. Truth is, I'd be happy being with you every minute of the day if we could manage it. I'm not sure how you feel about that, though. Anyway ... what I meant, is when we went out to eat, we should've risked my growling stomach and picked a place that was outside the Burg._

 _I haven't been left alone once word got out that we were on a_ _ **date**_ _/date ... and after we were spotted enjoying one hell of a kiss that everyone knows would've led to more if Tank hadn't called you. My mother's been calling constantly to tell me I should be looking for a guy who'll be willing to marry me, and that being seen with you will scare off any of those potential sons-in-laws. She didn't appreciate me saying that_ _ **you**_ _are the_ _ **only man**_ _I'm terrified of scaring away. I'm sure after that 'discussion', she called one or both Morelli homes to share her 'concerns' about me, because Joe started cornering me at the station or wherever I stop for lunch or dinner, trying to get me to turn on you ... which WON'T happen. You've been there for me more than anyone in my life ever has ... including my own family except for Grandma Mazur. I'm happy to tell you that Joe's only been successful in repeatedly pissing me off, telling me to "Stop being stupid" or "So fucking stubborn". Like he's one to talk about being stubbornly stupid._

 _Eddie and Carl stepped in today when they thought my hand was going for my gun. They quickly moved the jerk along so a clean-up in hallway 1 wouldn't be necessary. And if my mom and Morelli weren't annoying enough, whenever I go to the bonds office Connie, Lula, and Vinnie, discuss my sex life, or speculate out loud if we have one. I don't know if I've changed, or if the fishbowl I call my life is cracking under current pressure, but I can't deal with them anymore. I want and need peace and quiet. Clearly, there's a few things I need to figure out._

 _There's no way I can sort out and fix my own shit when I can't seem to get a break from all of theirs. Grandma is watching Rex for me for a few days, so if you do get a break between disasters, you can meet me at the place we discussed at dinner. Hopefully you weren't kidding when you said I could go there if I need a safe place, or how to get myself into it if I do find myself there. If you were joking ... at least I'll get to see you or the guys when the fifty alarms I bet are on the building go off while I'm fiddling with the door_.

 _If you can't come, don't worry ... I_ _ **will**_ _be back, but we do have to talk when we see each other again. Maybe this letter is what you need from me in order to feel like you can discuss us with me so you won't have to make sense of our relationship alone anymore. I've been wrong ... about a lot of things, in the past and even now, and I don't want us to be one of them again. Please take care of yourself and don't forget to delegate so you can get some rest and peace yourself. And remember ... you do need to take time to eat! I can't believe I actually have to say that to someone I know, but I can't help it. I worry about you to a distracting degree. Love (yes, I actually said it ... well **wrote** it, but writing it doesn't affect or change how true it is). I love you and really miss hanging out with and talking to you. I'm stopping now so I don't make more of an idiot out of myself than I think I already have. Love, Your Babe (I hope I am still yours) Stephanie_.

Ten minutes ago, I would've told the Devil to go fuck himself, not seeing even a spare second to make a deal with him, let alone take a few hours or days off. I've warned Stephanie that I'm an opportunist, and there's no fucking way I'm letting one slip by me when it involves someone crucial to my mental and emotional state. I called Cal and told him to hightail his ass over to my office.

"What's going on?" He asked me.

He works out religiously so he isn't breathing hard, but it's clear to me that he didn't waste any time getting here.

"I'm putting you in charge until Tank's back. You've been with me the longest ... after Tank, Brown, and Santos, so I'm trusting you to not fuck anything up."

The look in his eyes brought to mind a startled deer with a hint of excited eight-year-old mixed in.

"Yes, you heard me correctly," I told him. "You're in charge now. I expect periodic but quick check-ins. I don't have to tell you to not do anything stupid."

"You know I wouldn't. I've been waiting for a chance to prove that I can do even more than I have been."

"You can thank the flu, because it just gave you that chance."

"I know Tank, Bobby, and Lester, are still in hell, but what happened to get you to hand over the reins?" Cal asked. "You getting flu-fucked, too?"

"I'm fine. Stephanie's not."

"Enough said. She comes first. She okay?"

"She's about to be."

As long as she isn't in danger or hurt, the men won't pry into our business. He moved on. "Don't worry about this place, I won't let you down."

"You'll pay with more than just your job if you do," I warned him.

"I get that. There won't be a need. I plan to be here as long as Rangeman is. Tell Steph I said ' _Hi_ '."

I nodded, but was already gesturing for him to get out of my office and heading towards _Tank's_. My space remains off limits to everyone except Tank and Stephanie. I filled the control room in on the change in command and reminded everyone that I still have a 24/7 electronic link to this place that they're only allowed to use for brief questions/updates or for emergencies. When I was sure they fully understood my instructions, I left ... choosing to believe that since I trained them, they're the next best thing to me being here.

I took the elevator down to the garage just because I know it's 1.8 minutes faster than me hauling ass down five flights of stairs. I beeped the Turbo unlocked and drove to the house that's just outside of Newark. My little brother is selling the place to get what will likely become a family home with his now fiancée. The happy couple is currently on a two-week Vegas vacation so his home made the perfect safe house for Stephanie if the need arose. Even if they weren't in Vegas, my brother's been staying in Glen Ridge with Alma anyway.

Not only am I glad they found each other, I'm happy that they're celebrating their impending nuptials elsewhere so I can spend some unexpected alone time with Stephanie. I pulled into the driveway behind her POS and saw that only two lights were on inside ... in the kitchen and guest room. The pale brick, two-story home looked from the outside like a stand-alone Brownstone. Not only does it have a small stoop at the front door to take in a cool breeze on a hot night, it also has small balconies off the living room and master bedroom. It's a private and secure residence on a good chunk of property, but still appears open to socializing if you're inclined towards company.

I parked and quietly let myself inside, scaring the shit out of Stephanie who'd been coming back downstairs.

" _Holy shit, Ranger!_ Make some friggin' noise once in a while, will ya? One of these days, you're literally going to cause a heart attack."

"You invited me over, Steph."

"I did, but I wasn't expecting you ... let alone this soon. I pretty much just got here myself, which I'm sure you already know."

"I do know exactly when you arrived. I left Rangeman as soon as I finished your letter."

"I shouldn't have made a pit stop at your building. I had a feeling that letter was a bad idea the second I got back into my car after giving it to Woody. You've got enough to worry about right now without me adding to it."

"I disagree, because your letter got me here."

"I admit, I like that you _did_ show up, but I'm also confused _why_ you're here. Given the intensity and duration of the lip-lock we had in your car, I know I would've seen more of you if you weren't busy. Gene and Woody confirmed that you've had your hands full, so you being here really is a surprise."

"You didn't think I'd come if you needed me?" I asked, doing what I've been dreaming of since I had her in my arms, unfortunately only getting to kiss her goodnight after our dinner at Rossoni's.

I pulled her against me and wrapped my arms tight around her. She wasn't getting away from me then ... and she isn't now. If Tank hadn't called saying he needed backup for a particularly nasty capture, there wouldn't have been a goodbye that night. But then disaster after illness hit right after that, and a life beyond Rangeman seemed postponed indefinitely ... until Steph blew open a door by secluding herself right after putting her love for me in writing.

"Yeah, you'd come running if I were being threatened by a Stark Street gang or a homicidal maniac, but me just needing a Burg-break and a breather from my life, I didn't think would get you to leave your work duties and follow me."

"You should know better, Babe. I'd follow you anywhere ... to your apartment, my brother's house, or to the ends of the earth if I have to, for no other reason than I love you, need you, and want you to be happy."

"So you're not mad or at all scared about what I wrote?" She asked.

"No, just the opposite. I'm going to have your declaration of love notarized and filed as soon as we get back to Trenton."

"Who knew Jersey's resident superhero could be so funny?"

"I'm only partially kidding, Steph. You effectively told me that not only have your boundaries relaxed ... they've disappeared completely and you're impatiently waiting for me to move in. That's exactly what I've needed to hear from you. Taking you to dinner was good, but I want more than an hour of your time once in awhile."

"How much more?" She asked, moving closer so we're inhaling each other's air.

"More than what you mentioned ... which I believe was every minute of the day."

"Do you think your brother would be grossed out if I kiss you in his house?"

"He would, but I don't really give a fuck if he is. When I first looked at this house with him, I told him that this place is a good investment just based on the location, its hardwood floors, granite counters, and overall neutral appearance. But I'm seeing it as a much more attractive property now that you're standing inside it."

"Uh-oh. You're not thinking of buying it yourself, are you?"

"I haven't given it much thought, but now I am considering how beneficial owning a place away from Trenton could be, where we'd have a ready escape anytime we need one."

She didn't say anymore. She just slid the fingers of both hands into my hair and used her grip to bring my mouth down to hers. I took over from there and didn't let her lips go until she was moaning and squirming in my arms. Even then, I didn't end the kiss. It's impossible to let her go even when I have to.

"I think that kiss unscrambled my brain as it curled my toes," she whispered against my lips. "I just figured out how I can simplify my life."

"How?" I asked, wondering if the dreams I've had regarding her are finally becoming reality.

"I'm going to tell Vinnie to find a new employee to torture so bonds office gossip will no longer be an issue. I'll purposely go for my gun next time and shoot Joe, keeping him permanently away from me. I can emotionally-divorce my mother, which will basically sever most of my Burg ties except for Grandma, Mary Lou, Val, and my nieces. That one thing alone will cut out three-quarters of my stress. And I bet if I just stay with you wherever you are, I'll be way happier and surrounded by a better class of everything ... friends, coworkers, apartment furniture ..."

"All of those ideas work for me," I admitted.

"So we're really going to find out how being a couple works for us?"

"Yes. And I'm telling now, we're _staying_ a couple. No other options are allowed. I'm going to uncomplicate your life even further. You're now a full-time Rangeman employee, either in a cubby, on the street doing/helping with apprehensions, or both. I'll make a final decision on which way I'll eliminate Morelli from the long list of methods I've been considering. And you don't have to worry about your family. Staying with me here or in Trenton will shut your mother up and separate you completely from the Burg, while keeping you close to me where you've always belonged."

"You actually want to live with me?"

"Among other things."

"I thought a few days of periodic cohabitation would have you rethinking the wisdom of letting me near your building or apartment."

"Having you in my space had me thinking of how to continue it, not _rethinking_ it at all."

"You do love me like you said, don't you? You were never just saying the words to get me naked or into your bed like Joyce and Joe keep telling everyone."

"I do want you naked and also in my bed, but not just for a night or a week. At this point, one lifetime doesn't feel like enough time with you to satisfy me. I need and crave you more than I feel comfortable admitting."

"Okay then. That settles that, since I like everything I just heard."

"You're willing to move into Rangeman?" I asked, not wanting any misunderstandings here.

"Yep. How I see it now is ... the only way to break the cycle of crazy is to stop doing crazy things ... or just stop letting the crazy people around me suck me into their chaos. I want a better life, so I'm willing to do everything differently. Starting with what I've been terrified to do."

"Which is what?"

"Love you. On some level, I knew that if I let myself love you, most of the uncertainty in my life - and insecurity in me - would finally go away. Which I admit scared the hell out of me. It shouldn't, but knowing that I'd go from ' _Stephanie Plum the screw up_ ' to ' _That Stephanie who's screwing her boss_ ' really bothered me. But I'm choosing not to care what anyone says about me anymore. I respect you and your opinions, so if _I'm_ enough _for you_... I'm enough _period_."

"You are. Tank claims it takes a higher intelligence to fully appreciate a cat, but I think that phrase would be better applied to you. Only those who are smart enough to see how lucky they are for knowing you can fully appreciate you."

"Are you trying to seduce me?" She asked.

"Yes, but I'm also sharing a few truths. You're not a screw up or a quick screw, Babe. You're a woman a man brings home to Mama ... or more accurately, the woman I'm bringing to my brother's wedding, where every Manoso will be not just my mother."

"Great, now I'm terrified all over again, but I'm standing by everything I wrote and said today."

"You've only been away from Trenton for a little over an hour," I pointed out. "That's not a lot of time to completely change your outlook on - or approach to - life."

"It changed a lot quicker than that, but getting to see you at the end of a stressful day and now realizing that I can have that _everyday_ if I stop being a chickenshit and just come right out and ask for that kind of commitment, has me feeling a bit fearless."

"A commitment is what you're after?" I said, mentally crossing my fingers.

"Yes. A scary, all-encompassing one whether we get married at some point or not. I'm finally brave enough to ' _go for it'_ \- those were Mary Lou's exact words - with you by putting us both out of our self-imposed misery and claiming you ... here, in Trenton, and every place in-between."


End file.
